My Immortal
by Star Mile
Summary: When something happens to the person you love most in the world, your heart breaks and you want to give up on life. Yaoishounen ai. ?x? Read to find out. Read & Review please!


Hi! This is my first songfic! I love this song so I figured it would be really cool to write a fic to it! The song is "My Immortal" by Evanescence. It's a sad song so this will be my first death fic. It's a Fruits Basket yaoi fic so the couple should be pretty obvious…it's my favorite pair! I'm not going to tell you who's dead till the end though, you will have to use your imagination to try to figure out who it is till then. Anyway, on with the fic!!

Warnings: yaoi, angst, death

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My Immortal

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I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears

And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

'Cause your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

I walked slowly to the desk and picked up the small, green book. It belonged to you…it belonged to my love. It was the day when the snow came down almost endlessly, the day we found out how we truly felt about one another. The ground was covered with almost three feet of snow, but still you insisted that we walk to school. Now I'm glad we did. If we hadn't, you wouldn't have tripped in the snow and sprained your ankle. I wouldn't have picked you up and carried you home on my back. I wouldn't have slipped up and told you that I worried about your health since it was so cold. Then, you wouldn't have tried to get up and take care of yourself, but only end up falling on me. You wouldn't have knocked me over and our lips would have never met.

It's your diary I hold in my hand right now. It recounts every moment we spent together…every caress…every kiss. I can't handle it anymore. The more I read it or think about all the time we spent together, it just makes me sad. It tears me up inside. Sometimes I wish I didn't have all these memories or reminders of you. Sometimes I think it would just make it easier to live each day.

We started sharing a room soon after the snow. You moved into my room because it was bigger, but we still used your room for a different kind of pleasure. That was our confessional. We would go there to tell each other our fears and share our dreams. I still remember the first night we shared a bed. You were a little nervous and reluctant to get close, but I pulled you to my chest and told you everything would be okay…that I loved you. Every night after that you would snuggle up close to me in bed and wrap your arms securely around me…enveloping me in your warmth. We would fall asleep like that and then wake up the same way.

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When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have

All of me

You used to captivate me

By your resonating life

Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face it haunts

My once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away

All the sanity in me

I'm cold now. I know that you're still in my heart and in my head…but I can't feel you. I go to sleep at night thinking of you and how you were so warm, but I wake up ice cold, remembering the accident. Everything in this house reminds me of you. I can't go to a room without seeing you there or remembering a night we spent together there. I miss it…I miss your warmth…your frivolity. I try to forget about it sometimes, our love I mean. I sometimes begin to wonder if it would be easier just to forget about it all.

Yet no matter how much I try to forget, I can't. There are too many memories…too many nights spent together. I cry myself to sleep every night thinking about you, wishing you were still here. It's not fair, you know. Why did they take you? There were so many other people in the bank that day. It should have been me instead of you, you shouldn't have thrown yourself in front of me taking that bullet.

There was so much I didn't know about you before. I used to think you weren't afraid of anything. I soon learned otherwise. There was so much that scared you. You were scared of not being accepted, but didn't you know. I accepted you…wasn't that all that mattered? You were also scared of never being loved because of who you were. Didn't you hear? It was because of who you were that you were loved.

You could do things to me that no one could. Your voice would pull me away from this world. Your touch could send chills up my spine and your smile could make me light-headed. You face haunts me now. Every night I see you in that bank lobby, blood pooling in the floor beneath you. Why did you worry about me so much? You should have stayed where you were. It should have been me that died that day.

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These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

But though you're still with me

I've been alone all along

I miss you. I wish you would come back. I wish that you would walk through that door with that big smile of yours and wrap your arms around me. I wish you would kiss me and tell me everything's alright, that it was just a dream. I wish I could crawl into my bed tonight and feel you beside me. I wish I didn't wake up cold in the mornings and I wish I didn't cry myself to sleep every night. I wish we could spend just one more night together. I wish you were here to tell me everything will be alright…that we will be together forever.

I'm crying again. I here someone coming down the hallway and I begin to think it's you. Then I snap back into reality and realize that you're not coming back…ever. Will you wait for me? I'll be there soon. I sit here now with your diary in my right hand, your memory in my heart, and an empty pill bottle in my left hand. I love you, Kyo. Please wait.

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Well, how was it? Did you like it? Did you hate it? Please Read & Review!! I love reviews!

--Fire-Arisa-Ice--


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